Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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