Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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