I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize