I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
