If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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