you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
