shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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