Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
