It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
