It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
