Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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