ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
