new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
