If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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