I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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