video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
