sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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