I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
