apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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