do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize