You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
