Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
