So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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