I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
