i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
