You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
