Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
