How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
