is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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