Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
