oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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