I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
