Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
