I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
