I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So squirting runs in the family.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
