Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
