I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
