This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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