Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
