It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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