You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
