im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
