My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
