Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
