I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
