I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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