Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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