so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If that was your dad, he is hot
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
