im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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