check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
