Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
