i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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