I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
