apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
