with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
