Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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