Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
