I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
