You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
