Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
