lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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